The Ball and The Box
Imagine your life is a box with a "pain button" on one side. In the beginning, the Ball of Grief is huge. Every time you move, it hits the button, and the pain is intense and constant.
Over time, the ball gets smaller. It doesn't disappear, but it hits the button less often. When it does hit, it still hurts just as much—it just gives you more room to breathe in between.
Grief isn't a Straight Line
We are often taught about "stages," but the reality is much messier.
✕ What we expect
The Myth: Linear Progress
✓ What it actually feels like
The Reality: Waves & Scribbles
Common Landscapes of Grief
Denial
Numbness and shock help us survive the initial blow.
Anger
A necessary bridge to connect us back to reality.
Bargaining
The "If only..." thoughts that try to negotiate the past.
Depression
An appropriate response to a great loss.
Acceptance
Not "being okay" with it, but accepting the new reality.
You may visit these multiple times a day, in no specific order.
How to Hold Space
Grief is exhausting. It takes physical, mental, and emotional energy. Here is how to be gentle with yourself today:
Ride the Wave: When a wave of grief hits, don't fight it. Notice it, breathe through it, and know it will eventually recede.
Lower Expectations: It is okay if you are less productive or more forgetful right now. Your brain is busy processing loss.
Small Rituals: Light a candle, write a letter, or visit a meaningful place. Rituals give your grief a place to go.